I have just come to the absolute scariest realization of my life. Brace yourself because this is going to stun you as much as it stunned me…Boyfriend and I weigh the same amount!! I KNOW! Which means that if we were to both compete in a wrestling competition, we would most likely wrestle each other since we are in the same weight class. I am disgusted with myself. Boyfriend has always been a consistent gym rat and about 9 months ago he decided to get serious with his diet (please note he did not have a ton of weight to lose) and so I suggested WW. A diet so powerful all you need to say is the initials…that’s right…WW…Weight Watchers. In fact, it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle. I know this because I have been to the meetings. And it works, it really works if you stick to your points. I got serious about 4 years ago, pre-Boyfriend and lost 25 lbs…well somehow those 25 pounds found me and brought 10 of their friends back with them. Boyfriend looks amazing and I look not so amazing. So I decided to get serious. Last Friday I hopped on my electronic talking scale and it immediately said “ONE AT A TIME PLEASE”. I knew at that moment that this weight loss journey was going to be a lot more difficult than I expected so I needed to make a plan.
First item on the agenda, cancel my gym membership. Hahaha. I know you are laughing and I have to laugh here too, I know it sounds ridiculous but what is even more ridiculous is the fact that I pay for this monthly membership and honestly cannot remember the last time I was there. I like to think of it as my way of ensuring the gym is suitable for all those avid gym goers like Boyfriend…they need money to pay those employees and my monthly membership fee helps this cause. I am a good Samaritan. Back to business, the problem with my gym is that it is about 20 minutes away from my house and not on the way home. I already spend most of my day commuting to my sucky job and since working out seems in itself a second sucky job, why would I want to endure that extra commute? I prefer to sit on the couch, drink a glass(es) of wine and watch fatter people lose weight on shows like the Biggest Loser. Ahhhh the comfort of my couch. See? My logic is wayyyyyyy off I know, but you do not get this size without knowing the exact number of minutes you have to get to the kitchen and back before the commercial break ends. So, we are canceling the gym membership to join once closer to my house. 5 minutes away to be exact. No more excuses. The icing on the cake…this new gym has a pool and I decided that I am going to swim away these pounds and if that doesn’t work then I hope moo-moo’s and leggings stay in fashion.
Second item on the agenda was to get rid of everything that I know I shouldn’t be eating and drinking in my new lifestyle. With that said, I apologize for not blogging the last few days, but it is very time consuming to drink every bottle of wine in the house, eat 2 tubs of French onion dip & chips, crab-stuffed shrimp and half a chocolate cake washed down with a few mimosas. It was a holiday weekend people, do not judge me. Everyone knows the cardinal rule of dieting is that you do not start a diet on the weekend and you most certainly do not every start it over the holidays. Besides, I could not let all that deliciousness go to waste. It was like the last supper for me, only it lasted approximately 3 days.
So here I am. Current weight = same as boyfriend’s. Current wardrobe = a weapon, since at any moment the button on every pair of pants I own could pop off, fly across the room and take someone out. Current issue = I am wearing a dress today and my thighs are rubbing together so bad that I have a Stage 4 rug burn and I am contemplating peeing in my pants to avoid the walk across the office to the bathroom.
Wish me luck and please warn the wine industry that their stock is about to drop. Game on thunder thighs.